Joke #2818

On a beach a man shouts at another man: Tell your son not to imitate me. A man to his son: Son, stop playing the fool.
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car. "That is amazing" the employee was fascinated. "That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Vote: has 78.03 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, life
My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
Vote: has 69.22 % from 73 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, life, time
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
Vote: has 58.09 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, life
You WILL be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest. Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit. Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen. "That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, health, life
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Guy goes every day to the same diner, looks over the menu, and always orders the same thing: ham and eggs. Every day, the same thing: ham and eggs. Waitress decides to play a trick on him and scratches it from the menu. He comes in, she says, "You know that thing you like so much? I scratched it." "Well, wash off your hand and get me some ham and eggs."
Vote: has 85.17 % from 8957 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life, work
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London. The waiter tells them, "Excuse me if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease." The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life