Joke #9719

Did you hear about the blind circumcicionist? He got the sack.

I know a lady who blew her man's jimmy off because he wanted to be down with O.P.P. Now he down with No P.P.

A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs: "Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"

Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."

An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."

I can't tell if I'm depressed or just an adult.

Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."

Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field.

Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...

Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.

I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...