I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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Q: What do you call a Jew with a mental disability?
A: Auschwitztic.
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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.
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I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
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Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers?
A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
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Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
A: Farmers used to buy us.
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how do you keep a black person out of your backyard?
Hang one in the front.
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What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't?
Ended a race.
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So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob.
"Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work."
"Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday."
So I call him on his cell.
"What gives, bro,?" I ask.
"Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes."
I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer."
"Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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How can you tell if you have acne?
If the blind can read your face.
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The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades.
...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.
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