I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile.
In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?
A: Because his wife died.
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What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.
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Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons?
A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks.
He untied her and they had sex.
Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in.
Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
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Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs?
A: An invalid.
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