Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
I'm Mr, Farter.
Mr, Farter who?
I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
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Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?
A: I haven't seen you for a year!
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Two bums are sitting talking.
The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever!
This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground.
So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever."
The second bum just laughs,
"That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks.
You know what I did?
I fucked her all day long."
The other bum interrupts, "Bull!
You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life."
The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?"
The other replies no.
"How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?"
To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
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How long does it take a black lady to shit?
About 9 months.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
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I just ended a long-term relationship today.
I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
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How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
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What do you call a nun in a wheel chair?
Virgin mobile.
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Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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