Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.
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A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother:
"Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale."
"Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
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What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
He ate himself.
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Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car.
It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
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A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
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Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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How did the tugboat get AIDS?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.
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Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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