Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.
If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"
"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?" "He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The e-mail reads: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.