Joke #2854

Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker? A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
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has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?" Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
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has 82.72 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, life
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet? A:To stamp out fires. Q:Why do elephants have flat feet? A:To stamp out burning ducks
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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has 81.43 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, time
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel