Joke #10560

What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house? The Lizard of Oz.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, “This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!” The farmer looked puzzled and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”
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Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A: A shadow.
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What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.
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What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
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What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
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What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
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A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
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