What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?
The Lizard of Oz.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend?
A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Vote:
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting.
On landing, the pilot says, "Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear."
The hunters go out and return with two bears.
So the pilot says, "I told you ONE bear!"
But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board.
After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears.
After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank.
Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are.
The pilot says, "About the same place where we crashed last year."
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk.
The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos.
And they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now."
"Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully.
"He’s a martyr now though" mum confides.
"Oh, so sad, dear" says the other.
"And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21."
"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born."
"He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly.
"Oh, gracious me…" says the other.
"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers.
"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."
"He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
Vote:
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds?
A. Half a spider!
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Vote: