What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?
The Lizard of Oz.
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What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane?
A dandy lion.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks.
''What's your name?''
The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack.
May I help you?''
''Yeah,'' says the frog.
''I'd like to borrow some money.''
The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form.
''Okay,what's your name?''
The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.''
''Really?'' says the loan officer.
''Any relation to Mick Jagger?''
''Yeah, he's my dad.''
''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer.
''Do you have any collateral?''
The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?''
The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure.
Let me go check with the bank manager.''
''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.''
The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.''
The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers?
A: They have two left feet.
Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?
A: Curly hare.
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She'll cream you.
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
How are black people and wolves similar?
They both fight in packs.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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