Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos.
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They re always switching their tails.
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."