Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
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An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.
He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off.
The bartender agrees.
The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis.
The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also".
There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler.
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What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
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In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York.
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said,
"Your fly is undone."
The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again,
"Your pants have a slit back."
The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand.
"Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease.
The man bent down to tie his shoelaces.
"Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled.
The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said,
"Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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