I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.” The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have. A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments. As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way. Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind. As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him. “Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for? Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain. “I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Bitch who ran over my pet frog.”
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds? A. Half a spider!
When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!.
Which rabbit is a famous comedian? Bob Hop.
On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage? All your Hefty Bags are missing.
What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane? A dandy lion.
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!