I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
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What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer farmer.
Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano?
A: Crabs on your organ.
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Vote:
How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
What's a pet's favorite day?
Saint Petrick's Day.
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
Vote:
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.
Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that.
You go right up there and tell him off.
Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."