I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker? A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
My cat can talk. I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare.
Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together. Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles. One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home." The next day, they come to work on a donkey. After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence. "I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde. "I'm not convinced that's our donkey." "Why not?" asks the second blonde. The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!