I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
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Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina?
A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
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Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
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Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question.
One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize.
"To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'"
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road.
Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race.
The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race.
The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge.
It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line.
So the tortoise is still the champion of the race.
So remember this you snooze you loose!