How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin.
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
Which rabbit is a famous comedian? Bob Hop.
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise. On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock. One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!" The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?" The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?" The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath.