Joke #2872

How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.

Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

What is a buttress? A female goat.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.

Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.

Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.

Two guys meet: "Where were you lost my friend? says one of them." "Well, I took my kids to the zoo..." "And what kind of animals did you see there?" "The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...” "Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”! "Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"