What do dinosaurs put on their floors?
Rep-tiles.
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There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher.
Then, the bear climbed down and went away.
So the guy starts to climb down the tree.
Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him.
The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first.
But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him.
Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again.
Suddenly, the two bears return.
But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar.
Man says "you can leave that lion here."
The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.
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Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
What's a rabbits favorite movie?
Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the donkey.
"Your name is written inside the cover."