Joke #2887

What do dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal

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The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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has 54.09 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, internet, money
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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has 41.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Q: What animal could Noah not trust? A: Cheetah.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian
Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
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has 20.20 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, racist, white people
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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has 31.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, relationship
Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea. What's that called?' The lady responded, 'It's a condom.' The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?' She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.' So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.' The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?' The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'
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has 73.44 % from 409 votes. More jokes about: animal, drug, sex
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion? A tiger has the mane part missing.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal