What do dinosaurs put on their floors?
Rep-tiles.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
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What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?
A Moles Royce.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!