What do dinosaurs put on their floors?
Rep-tiles.
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Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows.
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake.
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?"
"Yes, I was. So what?"
"Were you sitting on the table?"
"Yeah, why?"
The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!"
"But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders.
"Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull?
The white bull does: “Mooo”.
The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
What do you call an unusual rabbit?
A rare hare.
Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on.
After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.
Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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