What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
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What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something.
They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them.
Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes.
The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!"
The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
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Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Bunny farts!
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner."
Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in.
Which one do you let in?
The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!