What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
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A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?"
The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on.
St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed.
Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off.
The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?"
The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
Vote:
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant?
An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick?
A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
Vote:
How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!
Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.