What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool.
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Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk?
A: The utter side.
Where does a cow stop to drink?
The milky way.
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her?
A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted.
The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car.
The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
How is a rabbit like a plum?
They re both purple, except for the rabbit.
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths?
Lefty.
Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A: He was looking for pooh!