What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick.
One man said, "I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup."
Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk.
The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!"
The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A harenet.
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds?
A. Half a spider!