A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff.
Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt.
She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!"
She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman."
He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
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How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
Why does a penis have a hole at the end?
So guys can be open-minded.
What's the difference between a man and a messy room?
You can straighten up a messy room.
How are men like chocolates?
A.They never last long enough
B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open.
As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground.
As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"
The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"