Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
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When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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Boss comes up to an employee:
"Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!"
"Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day."
Yo mama is stupid, she put a book in her friend face and named facebook.
A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years.
And unfortunately, none of them were your parents.
Dear Facebook,
Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"