Joke #13315

I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces. It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beauty, Facebook, internet

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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook, internet, technology
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: "I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..." "I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?" "Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."
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has 29.89 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: customer service, Facebook, internet, IT, technology
H - "Hello?" W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" H - "Yes." W - "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" H - "What's the price?" W - "Only $1,500.00." H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..." W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." H-"What price did he quote you?" W - "Only $60,000..." H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else..." H - "What?" W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property." H - "How much are they asking?" W - "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..." H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?" W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" H - "Bye...I love u too..." The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
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has 71.33 % from 1441 votes. More jokes about: beauty, marriage, money, phone
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?" God replies: "So you can love them, my child." "Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?" "So that they can love you back, my child...!"
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: beauty, god, love, men, stupid
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
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has 83.76 % from 854 votes. More jokes about: Facebook
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, internet, money
Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: internet, kids
Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Facebook, poems, technology, Yo mama
Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook