Name an animal that lives in Lapland?
A reindeer
Good, now name another.
Another reindeer!
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What animals do you bring to bed?
Your calves.
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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What do you call an unusual rabbit?
A rare hare.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor?
For hare care.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So he can make you curious.
What book did the rabbit take on vacation?
One with a hoppy ending.
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.
For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.
The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle.
"Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks.
"When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied.
"Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe.
"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."