Joke #5002

One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!" The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?" They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."

How is a blond with makeup called? Simpleminded picture.

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?"

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.

A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"

A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right boob is hanging out." As he gets closer it becomes apparent that it "IS" hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Well, your boob is hanging out." She looks down and says "OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!"

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.

A blond smokes in her yard. The garbage man asks her: Any garbage today? Yes, tree sacks please...

Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."

A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired. They are each assigned a section of the road. The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1. On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5. On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5. The manager decides to talk to the blonde. "You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day," the manager said. "What's the problem?" "I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!"

There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him. When the contractor came to her house they did a walk-through and he asked her what colors she would like. They came to the living room and she told him that she would like a nice, warm cream color. The contractor wrote something down on his pad, then walked to the window and yelled, "Greenside up." The lady is a little confused, but doesn't say anything, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, "I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark." The contractor writes something down on his pad, then walks to the window and again yells, "Greenside up!" The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, "I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here." The contractor writes something on his pad and again walks to the window and yells, "Greenside up." The woman is now totally perplexed and says to the contractor, "Three times I have told you the color that I want, and you write something on your pad, then you walk to the window and yell greenside up. What is going on?" The contractor replies, "You see, I have four blondes laying sod across the street."