Joke #2988

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal

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The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?  All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'  All the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'  Half the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'  Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted.
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has 83.78 % from 703 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, priest, sex, time
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
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has 65.41 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, gay, sex
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
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has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
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has 70.15 % from 516 votes. More jokes about: animal, Facebook, technology
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked." "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" "Driving" motioned the monkey.
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has 83.19 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cop, death
A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog