Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn.
He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat.
He could only take one across at a time.
He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn.
How did he get them all safely over the stream?
He took the goose over first and came back.
Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back.
Next he took the corn over.
He came back alone and took the goose.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
What happened to the lost cattle?
Nobody's herd.
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass?
"Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Q. What did the frog say to the fly?
A. You are really starting to bug me!
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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