Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.