Joke #2187

Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Justin Justin who? Justin time for dinner!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Zany Zany who? Zany body home?

Knock knock? Who's there? Hitler! Hitler who? You Know, the man who kills jews.

Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!

Yo mama so fat, her kids come out of her all at once.

Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane. The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America ." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped. The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's a parachute left for you. Australia's smartest woman took my schoolbag."

Knock,Knock, Who is there? Pen! Pen who? is...

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.