Joke #3011

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion! Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?" The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!" On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant - "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
Vote:
has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
Vote:
has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, car, cop, party
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
Vote:
has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, time
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote:
has 52.92 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey." "Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some." He is through the brush and up the tree. So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree. The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy."
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, weed
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather