A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy!
Daddy!
Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
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A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding.
The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
"You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it."
Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
A: She drowned during the wave.
A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car.
The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.
"No!" yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.
"For the last time, no!" says the blonde.
Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"
Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin?
A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs!
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They've both been laid all over America.
A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says,
"Come again!"
Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane.
The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn't like it she throws it out the window.
The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn't like it she throws it out the window.
The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn't like it she throws it out the window.
They get out of the plane.
They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says "An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog."
They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says" An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat."
They keep walking.
They come up to a blonde laughing her head off.
"Why are you laughing so hard?" they said.
"When I farted the building blew up!"
Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to keep amused.