Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum. Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do? He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch. Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down." She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that! That thing is smelly and nasty!" The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.
What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
What happened to the cold jellyfish? It set.