Joke #3060

Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum. Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do? He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch. Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down." She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that! That thing is smelly and nasty!" The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
What do dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, women
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, dog