Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!"
Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"
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Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website?
Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.
Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?"
Will: "I don't know."
Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
"Darling."
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world?
A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries.
The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own.
"No worries," Jonah told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened."
After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3.
"What!!!!" said a furious Josh Kronfeld, "How did you let them get three points??!"
Jonah replied apologetically, "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go."
Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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