Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!" Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you. Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf. Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.