The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer. No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...
My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.
Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips. After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft". So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft" Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"? To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Why did the basketball player go to jail? "Because he shot the ball!"
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
A man had an idea that could make him rich. After it was perfected he brought it to an inventors' help group. When asked what his great invention was, he pulled out an apple. The group looked at it and started laughing. The inventor said, "You don't understand! Taste it." A volunteer tried it and said, "Mmmmmmm, tastes like peaches." The inventor said, "Flip it over." He flipped it over and took another chunk of the apple. "Mmmmmmmm, tastes like grapes." The inventor offered a new apple and the volunteer said, "What does it taste like?" "Pussy," said the inventor. The guy bit into it, and spit it out with an awful look on his face and shouted, "That tasted like ass!" The inventor winked and said, "Flip it over."
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.