The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer.
No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...
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What time does Andy Murray go to his bed?
Ten-ish.
Why did the football coach flood the pitch?
Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
"I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do.
I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV.
That's until they throw me out of Applebees."
Dave Letterman
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department."
"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered.
"Look."
He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway.
"Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.
Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath.
"You're not there, sir," he reported.
"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up.
What's wrong with me?"
Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer."
Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better."
The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely?
A: Playing Frisbee.
One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work.
He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa.
So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind.
After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head.
His wife yells, ''What was that for!?''
To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''
Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat.
Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears.
After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him.
Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing.
"Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom.
"Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry.
Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"