The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer.
No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...
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Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
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There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.
Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england?
A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!
Football match Romania – Russia.
Romania wins and receives a telegram from Russia:
“You’ve won!
Stop.
Congratulations!
Stop.
Oil!
Stop.
Gas!
Stop...
A college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed.
Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach.
"But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
"Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries.
The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own.
"No worries," Jonah told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened."
After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3.
"What!!!!" said a furious Josh Kronfeld, "How did you let them get three points??!"
Jonah replied apologetically, "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go."
When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants.
High five!
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment.
They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.
"What is that?" she asks.
"Those are my golf balls."
"Is that like tennis elbow?"
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.
"I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team,"
"That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."
"That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher.
Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"