Joke #3168

Where to birds invest their money? In the stork market!
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money

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An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the envelope because he needed $10,000 for a new baptistery. "Well, since we’re confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000." The lawyer was aghast. "I’m ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, lawyer, money, priest
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs from her. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: democrat, money, tax
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
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has 76.99 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: food, money
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, money
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, money
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. "I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver. "No way! Get lost!" replied the boy. "How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked. "I said no way," replied the boy. "What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver. "No, I’m not getting in the car," answered the boy. "Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered. "No!" replied the boy. "What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver. The boy replied: "Listen, Dad: You bought the Volvo-you live with it!"
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has 75.91 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, money
‘Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.’ Rita Rudner
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has 14.23 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple brandy with a double whisky chaser. ‘You know I shouldn’t really be drinking like this with what I’ve got,’ says the man to the barman. ‘Why? What have you got?’ asks the barman. ‘Fifty pence,’ replies the man.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, money, Yo mama