Joke #3185

Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ? He had to work it out with a pencil...
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has 48.30 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: math

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A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
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has 75.94 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math
Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees.
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has 78.26 % from 718 votes. More jokes about: math
Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A:Because you can't drink and derive...
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has 57.10 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math
Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2? Student: Why? Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.
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has 71.62 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: math
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"
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has 73.90 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: math
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A:A high school math problem!
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has 41.41 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: math
George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground". So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer". And Harry says "How can you tell?". George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless". That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry: They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math, science, time, travel
Math tells us three of the saddnest love stories: 1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever. 2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet. 3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
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has 69.19 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math