My math teacher called me average...
How mean!
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Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on.
After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ?
The logician replies: "yes".
There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10.
And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10".
The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"