What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired."
Everyone laughed.
The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone.
He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?
It ends up in his mouth.
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left.
One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says.
"Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
A woman went shopping.
She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste...
All of a sudden the salesman asks her:
"You're single, aren't you?"
A bit surprised woman smiles and answers:
"That's right, but how did you guessed that?"
"Because you're so ugly."