Joke #3248

What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack.
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One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word: "I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
Vote: has 22.74 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

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How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons, I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.
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Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter. Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days." Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
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How can you tell if a man is lying? You can see his lips moving.
Vote: has 60.40 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

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A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff. Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt. She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!" She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman." He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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