This french guy he wants to learn English.
So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off".
Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra".
Then he goes to the hospital "baby"
So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
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In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested.
After that, He creaed man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
How are men like diplomas?
You spend lots of time getting one, but once you
have it, you don't know what to do with it.
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle.
He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.
A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
Q: Why do men fart louder than women?
A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across?
A: A double dirty crosser.
Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.