This french guy he wants to learn English. So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off". Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra". Then he goes to the hospital "baby" So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.