This french guy he wants to learn English.
So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off".
Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra".
Then he goes to the hospital "baby"
So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
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A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
Men are like... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute."
What am I...? A microwave?
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Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the s**t out of you.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Macedonian men and 1 Macedonian woman.
One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere...
The first Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.
The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois".
The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Macedonian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the Macedonian woman and started swimming.
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