What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
I don't know, I've never seen either one.
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Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother.
On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said...
'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons,
I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.