Q: Whats faster than a black person with a TV?
A: His brother with a VCR.
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Why are asian people bad at driving?
Because they can't see.
What does the black kid across the street get for christmas?
Your bike...
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot.
They not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.
So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign "Speedbird 206″:
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944 but I didn’t stop."
What do you name an Asian baby with problems?
Sum ting wong.
Q: Why is there cotton in medicine bottles?
A: To remind the black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
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Q: What do you call a bunch of black people together...
A: A pack of Gorillas.
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Q: What do you call a violent minority?
A: A thug.
Q: What do you call a violent white guy?
A: Officer.
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What did the black woman name her 5 sons?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she tell them apart? She just called them by thier last names.
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A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas.
The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.
An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down.
After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town.
On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber.
The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table.
The time was right to make a move.
The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest.
I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live.
If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish.
As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer.
He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them.
The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now."
Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man.
Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town.
"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.
The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
Q: Why were wheelbarrows invented?
A: To teach blacks how to walk on two legs.
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