Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the s**t out of you.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
(A) You are not Tom Cruise,
(B) The guns may stop working at the last moment,
(C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you,
(D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf
(E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home 1 night.
The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends.
8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Vote:
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
John was in trouble, really big trouble.
You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through.
His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
She was serious too, so John got serious.
The next morning he woke up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation.
Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale.
John has been missing since Thursday.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows; they've never done it.