Joke #3249

Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men

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Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men
A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store. He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it. So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir." "How can I help you" the employee replies. "Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?" The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, customer service, men
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, time
Warning ladies! Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY". This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, men
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
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has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: men
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a p***s. The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
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has 84.35 % from 1273 votes. More jokes about: god, men, sex, time
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man. "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
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has 84.57 % from 307 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, marriage, men, wife