Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle. "That’s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That’s still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I’d like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.