Joke #3249

Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men

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Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
John was in trouble, really big trouble. You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" She was serious too, so John got serious. The next morning he woke up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation. Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale. John has been missing since Thursday.
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, men
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
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has 66.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women
Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how... An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Surfing in Nebraska. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a casserole. The cheese slid off his cracker. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men, women
MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
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has 54.04 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: men, women
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, men
How does a man show he's planning for the Future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: beer, men
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!" A second man walks into the same bar. You would think after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it coming.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men