Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie. They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk. The problem was getting Ken to listen.
MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.