Joke #6953

A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... " The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three women cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "

What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.

I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.

"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."

When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. "I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said. Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account." "I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"