How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea. The second also asks for tea. "And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter. When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"