Joke #7938

How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men

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A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
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has 61.37 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, doctor, men
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
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has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, women
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
How are men like chocolates? A.They never last long enough B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
What does a man call true love? An erection.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, men, music
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
One day Mrs. Smith went to have a talk with the minister at thelocal church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this needle with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Smith is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Smith dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the needle. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Smith," said the minister. Soon, Mr.Smith nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Smith. "God!" Mr. Smith cried out as he was stuck again with the needle. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.Smith again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Smith mistook as signals to prod her husband with the needle again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Smith poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I’ll break it in half and shove it up your a***s!" "Amen," replied the congregation.
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has 69.30 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: church, god, husband, men, work