Joke #7938

How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
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Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
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A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
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How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
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Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
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A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
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How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
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Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms? A: So gay guys can play star wars.
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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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What's the biggest difference between men and women ? Men are crabby all month long.
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The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
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