Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings. One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?' An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in." She lets him in and goes "how can we help?" The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice tits"
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.