How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.