How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
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How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush.
"Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman."
"OK," says Ivan.
After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Q: What would men do if they had breasts?
A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
MEN Vs WOMEN
1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup.
2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip.
3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery.
4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.