A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant.
"The ball type?" asked the clerk.
"No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
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Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive.
The woman says to the clerk at the counter, "I'm looking to buy a pet for my husband but I'm on a very short budget!."
"No worries," replies the clerk.
"We've just ordered in a very large bullfrog that can give bl*wjobs."
"Bl*wjobs," says the woman, buying the frog, thinking it would be a great gag gift, so she goes home and gives the frog to her husband explaining the frogs talent.
With a laugh the husband walks off leaving the frog in the kitchen.
In the middle of the night the woman wakes up to the sound of pots and pans flying around in the kitchen.
She goes down to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
"What are you two doing?" she asks.
"Well," says the husband.
"If I can teach this frog to cook you are outta here."
A guy walked into his friend’s office.
He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what’s up with you?," he asked.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She’s hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither. He’s bald."
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Why does a man like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.