How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... " The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three women cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this? " "You're speaking to it."