Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.