Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
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Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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