Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
The reason why the desert is dry is because Chuck Norris got thirsty.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris