There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
I challenged Chuck Norris once. He made a bun with my legs over my head, then he roundhouse kicked me to outer space. Now I read the facts from Mars.