There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.
Except Chuck Norris.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
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