When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
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Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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If you step on a crack, Chuck Norris will break your back.
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Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
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If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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