Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears?
Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work?
It keeps them awake.
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind.
After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed.
So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber.
The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."
So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband.
On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face.
The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed.
The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out.
As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.
The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship?
A. A second date.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico?
The lady replied "A moment..."
Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?