Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears?
Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
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Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.
The man said that he actually felt worse.
“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.
“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says "I'm lonely.
I wish my friends were back here."
Vote:
Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings.
One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?'
An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in."
She lets him in and goes "how can we help?"
The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice tits"
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead?
A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?