Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
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Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time.
She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus.
It'll take you right there."
She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus.
That was three hours ago.
Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"
Why should you never let a blonde take a tea or coffee break?
"It's too hard to re-train them."
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy.
Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.
"If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay?
Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," re plies the blonde,
"I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river.
They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it.
The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river."
Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours.
Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof!
God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours.
The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river."
And Poof! God turned her into a man.
He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
Q: What did the blonde do when she couldn't afford a personalized license plate?
A: She changed her name to JKM345.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke.
The trick is that they must not laugh.
The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell.
The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step before she laughs.
Finally, it’s the blondes turn.
She gets all the way to the 99th step before she laughs.
God asks her, “You were so close, why did you laugh?” and she responds, “I just got the first joke!”