Joke #9582

Chuck Norris Watches "the Nat.Geo. Specials" on Discovery Channel.
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What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
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Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game? A: She drowned during the wave.
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Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A. Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
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Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!
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A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up. "I'm so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It's because of you that I have had to try harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair." "Gosh, Miss, I'm terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." "Shut up! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that little jerk on your lap!"
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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde a dded, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
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Why did the blonde have square boobs? She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
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Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?  A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
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Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
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