How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
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Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city.
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A Hot Cross bunny.
How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat.
When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat.
Sorry...
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit?
A honey bunny.
What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hi, honey."
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."
So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog.
The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want."
The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you."
He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened.
And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."