How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad?
A: Dady issues!
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.
The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over."
The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."
The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running.
About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.
The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month."
Moral of this story?
Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was.
One day she argued with a lion.
The next day was the first of June.
Why?
Because that was the end of May!