Joke #10577

How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.

You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion. What do you do? Get your drunk ass off the carousel.

Why did the gag-writer turn green? Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!

Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!" "There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time. My fee, of course, will be $1,500." Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."

What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.

First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.

How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.

Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."

Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.