How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?" Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee.
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
Make the world your playground. Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps. If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do. When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up. Always find a good patch of sun to nap in. Nap often. When in trouble, just purr and look cute. Life is hard, and then you nap. Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours. Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy. Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there. Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner. Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.