Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
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They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?
It ends up in his mouth.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
If Men Ruled the World... Laws:
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
Car rental agencies would rent tanks.
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas.
Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
Why does a man like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree.
He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
They put one man on the moon.
Why can’t they put them all there?
Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.