Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
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Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job.
The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York.
A nice young man, but a bit timid.
Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!"
Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself.
"He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him.
He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.
Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education."
Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?"
"Oh," replied Jim " at Yale."
"That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?"
Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed?
A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Vote:
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says "I’m lonely.
I wish my friends were back here."
Vote:
Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
Vote:
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
Two men were talking about their wives.
First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"