Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
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Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors.
The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol.
The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half.
They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story.
Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?"
God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back, my child...!"
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea.
The second also asks for tea.
"And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter.
When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables.
The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant.
"The ball type?" asked the clerk.
"No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."