If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
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Chuck Norris passed a kidney stone once.
That stone is now known as The Death Star.
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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