If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
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How did Stella get her groove back?
Permission from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room.
The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
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The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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