If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia.
While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you.
On facebook!
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Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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