If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris broke the law once. It still isn’t fixed.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris' cut out toe nail.
When Chuck Norris talks, people listen. When he doesn't, people still listen.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.