"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
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Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945.
World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945.
What a coincidence.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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