Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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